Eight Months and A Flat Chest Later
laughingalonewithcigarettes:
asa-yoru:
laughingalonewithcigarettes:
asa-yoru:
laughingalonewithcigarettes:
“It’s not that I wont allow myself to be happy, it’s that I don’t know how to be. It feels weird to me. I haven’t been happy in so long that it feels unnatural to me.”
“And you are going to ret that stop you? Because it feers weird?” Kiku squeezed Arthur’s hand he had been holding. “Soon that unnaturar feering wirr go away when you become use to being happy. Wirr you trust me that it is true?”
“I suppose. But you know when I’m uncomfortable I go to what’s safe for me. Closets and going out at night and coming home in blood. I can’t do that now with children around. So much change. I was handling it well until they actually got here.”
Kiku sighed, letting go of Arthur’s hand to get a fussy Hana who had finished her juice and didn’t want to be confined to a stroller anymore. “I am not sure what to terr you Arthur… I am sorry.” He bounced the little girl in his lap. “Arr I know is I am here for you and if that is what you need to do the girrs wirr be asreep when you are out and it is not rike you are doing it to good peopre.”
“I never understood how you could live with a man like me… Knowing what I do…” He sighed a bit and nodded, taking Emi out too now that she was fussing about being left behind in the stroller. “Thanks for everything you do for me.” He mumbled softly as he stood Emi up on his legs.
“There is no need to understand.” Leaning in he touched noses with Hana who giggled and patted her mama’s cheeks. “I ferr in rove with you and it did not change and never wirr even if you grow tired of me, I wirr not of you.” He pulled his face away from the little hands to look at Arthur with a smile.
Eight Months and A Flat Chest Later
laughingalonewithcigarettes:
asa-yoru:
laughingalonewithcigarettes:
“It’s not that I wont allow myself to be happy, it’s that I don’t know how to be. It feels weird to me. I haven’t been happy in so long that it feels unnatural to me.”
“And you are going to ret that stop you? Because it feers weird?” Kiku squeezed Arthur’s hand he had been holding. “Soon that unnaturar feering wirr go away when you become use to being happy. Wirr you trust me that it is true?”
“I suppose. But you know when I’m uncomfortable I go to what’s safe for me. Closets and going out at night and coming home in blood. I can’t do that now with children around. So much change. I was handling it well until they actually got here.”
Kiku sighed, letting go of Arthur’s hand to get a fussy Hana who had finished her juice and didn’t want to be confined to a stroller anymore. “I am not sure what to terr you Arthur… I am sorry.” He bounced the little girl in his lap. “Arr I know is I am here for you and if that is what you need to do the girrs wirr be asreep when you are out and it is not rike you are doing it to good peopre.”
Eight Months and A Flat Chest Later
laughingalonewithcigarettes:
asa-yoru:
laughingalonewithcigarettes:
asa-yoru:
laughingalonewithcigarettes:
“This.” Arthur motioned widely with his free hand. “This whole nice guy family man. We both know that’s not me. I’m not that guy. It’s making me angry and confused.”
“Does this make you unhappy?” He readied himself for the answer. If it truly made the man he loved so dearly, Kiku would make it all end for him. It would kill his heart to move back to Japan with the twins and Pochi but if it made Arthur happy he would do anything for the man.
“Did I say unhappy anywhere in there? No. I’m just confused. I’m not used to being happy. I’m not used to having people I care about let alone depending on me. You know the last time I did… Every time I did I screwed them up. I’m a monster I’m not supposed to have a family.”
“Iie… but angry and confused does not mean you are happy with everything, does it?” Pausing a moment he stared at Arthur. “Can you not arrow yourserf to be happy once? I know things have not went right in the past but do not think it wirr not this time. I rove you and so do our chirdren. We do not care what you do. I wirr back you up. I hope you know that and if you do not you do now.”
“It’s not that I wont allow myself to be happy, it’s that I don’t know how to be. It feels weird to me. I haven’t been happy in so long that it feels unnatural to me.”
“And you are going to ret that stop you? Because it feers weird?” Kiku squeezed Arthur’s hand he had been holding. “Soon that unnaturar feering wirr go away when you become use to being happy. Wirr you trust me that it is true?”
